Birthday

Hey!
I hope everyone had a great weekend. I know I did. Yesterday was my 31st birthday. Chris asked me what I wanted to do for my b-day. In a showing of my age I said I wanted to do absolutley nothing. Not at all because I am upset about being in my 30's but just that I wanted the day to just relax, read, and watch tv. I sure have changed from previous years. I really haven't minded being in my thirties (probably mostly because everyone still thinks I look like I'm 19:-). The one thing I had said that I would be upset by was if I didn't have children by the time I was 30. So that is a sadness although I am no stranger to that particular sadness. Anyway the meaning of this post was not to bring everyone down. Just how funny it is that I have changed so much (age? circumstance?) that a perfect b-day would be reading, watching tv (and New Moon of course for you Twilight fans;-), and getting takeout pizza! Of course the BEST thing was doing all these things with my wonderful husband!! A day of complete pampering and indulgence of what I wanted. What more could a girl ask for. Except chocolate for which my husband provided my favorite chocolate cake;-)

Learning Hopefully

Hey!
Well those of you who keep up with the blog know that there has really been no progress basically since Jan. I have also recently shared that I am struggling with loss of hope and placing my full trust in God.

Our sermon on Sun was from Mark 5:21-43. The passage was about Jesus's power over sickness and death. It was a great message (you can listen to it on our church's website www.salemchapel.org) and it sparked some deep thoughts in me. Seeing the total faith, trust, and absolute belief in Jesus's power that the people in this passage displayed made me take a deeper look at myself. I realize that way back in the beginning of the adoption (back before we had even thought of actually starting paperwork) we set very strict guidelines on what type of adoption we would pursue. I think that you definitly should have a plan however, I have to admit that I came to the decision without doing much/any research into all the avenues of adoption. I realize that this was not only my way of trying to control things but also trying to protect us from more hurt, sadness, and grief. After hearing this message it made me realize that we truly need to turn things over to God and he will lead us. If it is not in the way that I want it I need to know that ultimately it is what is best. I also need to keep in mind and heart that knowledge that we can get through anything because God is there with us for every step of the way.

Obviously this is an easier said than done realization. Especially for a control freak such as myself. So please pray for the trust, strength and courage for me/us to fully step out in faith and keep ourselves open to all the possibilites of God.

-Kristin

Well, there really isn’t anything new to update. It has been a busy few weeks…

Last week we had the pleasure of hosting some people from the Watoto Children’s Choir. This is a choir of children from Uganda who are in the care of the Watoto Ministry. The concert was amazing (that is not even a strong enough word!). The energy, talent, and most awesome was the JOY of these children and adults it was astounding. My friend Amanda and I were in tears in oh about 30 seconds into the concert. Those of you who know me realize that I am not usually one to cry easily. The stories of these children (all orphans) were heartbreaking, but the joy and hope they feel through their relationship with Jesus was inspiring! So we had the pleasure of hosting (for one short evening) a married couple (Alex and Linda) and two sweet boys (Gideon and Emmanuel). It was such a pleasure to have them stay with us. Our only regret was that we did not have much time with them.

So that was on Thursday of last week, and then I had to get ready for a baby shower being held at my house on Saturday. I know that this seems like a crazy thing for someone who has gone through infertility to do. I really do subscribe to the theory that I have a lifetime free pass to get out of attending baby showers. However, this was an opportunity to be a part of a special moment in the life of one of my very dear friends. Alison has been such an essential member of my support system. I was honored that I could be a part of the shower. So my friend Megan (another crucial member of the KSSS-Kristin Support and Sanity System;-) and I kicked it into decorating mode. If you had seen my house at 8:00pm on Fri you would have thought we would have to hold the shower outside! However, by 12:30am on Saturday it looked awesome (if I do say so myself)! So the shower commenced. One of the best parts was seeing another member of the KSSS, Liesl! I must point out that Liesl did pretty much all of the planning for the shower. I just provided a location and some decorations. After the shower (which was a great success) Megan and I went to McDonalds and then just kind of chilled at my house for a while. With Eli (her 1 year old son) going from person to person looking for french fry sharing;-).

So all of these things are some of my excuses for not really even giving much thought and certainly no time and energy to the adoption. In reality I think it is mostly because I am still locked into the hopeless phase and am being very resistant to trusting God. So please pray, pray, pray!

-Kristin

P.S. Please take the time to check out the Watoto website. They are awesome!
www.watoto.com

Russia

Our hearts and prayers go out to all the families and children in the process of completing an adoption from Russia.

It is a horrible thing that happened to that little boy and that has such an impact on probably thousands of people. It is hard to comprehend the motives behind such a terrible selfish act. I can only attribute it to Satan. We pray that things will become straightened out and that US adoptions may proceed. We also pray that this will not have an impact on adoptions from Russia through other countries.

Please pray not only for the child who now faces not only double abandonment but is experiencing it so publically. Also pray for the heart of the woman who "sent him back" that she will understand and accept the consequences of her actions.

-Kristin

Hey!

Well I guess my great idea of saving information so I would write more often "fizzled". I was blowing bubbles with one of the little boys I babysit for and we kept saying that this one fizzled. He thought that was so funny.

Part of the reason that I haven't written lately is that I have been struggling with loss of hope. I didn't even realize how much a part of me had "shut down" until I started my new job and when I told people we were adopting and they asked for details. As I was trying to remotely organize how to tell them where we were at I realized that as I was telling them I didn't really believe it was going to happen. I have been told so many times lately that God is teaching us something. The thought in my head has always been "NO KIDDING" I know that. However, I just assumed that he was trying (I say trying cause I can be kind of stubborn, no comments from Chris on how stubborn!)to teach me patience. It became clear in church on Easter Sunday, that what he may be trying to get through to me is to trust him! To not lose hope. This is an area that I struggle with you think I would have seen this earlier.

So I am working on keeping a positive mindset and taking things one day at a time. I follow an amazing blog and she was commenting how with adoption if you stop spending time on it and filling out the paperwork and doing the research then "no baby". Unlike when you are pregnant and your body keeps it going for you. So I am trying to get back into that mindset.

We are in the process of trying to decide on an agency to use. We are having difficulty finding one that will accept our homestudy. One of them will but charge a $750.00 executive fee. If we do another homestudy then it will be a few thosand again.

-Kristin