Hey!

Well I guess my great idea of saving information so I would write more often "fizzled". I was blowing bubbles with one of the little boys I babysit for and we kept saying that this one fizzled. He thought that was so funny.

Part of the reason that I haven't written lately is that I have been struggling with loss of hope. I didn't even realize how much a part of me had "shut down" until I started my new job and when I told people we were adopting and they asked for details. As I was trying to remotely organize how to tell them where we were at I realized that as I was telling them I didn't really believe it was going to happen. I have been told so many times lately that God is teaching us something. The thought in my head has always been "NO KIDDING" I know that. However, I just assumed that he was trying (I say trying cause I can be kind of stubborn, no comments from Chris on how stubborn!)to teach me patience. It became clear in church on Easter Sunday, that what he may be trying to get through to me is to trust him! To not lose hope. This is an area that I struggle with you think I would have seen this earlier.

So I am working on keeping a positive mindset and taking things one day at a time. I follow an amazing blog and she was commenting how with adoption if you stop spending time on it and filling out the paperwork and doing the research then "no baby". Unlike when you are pregnant and your body keeps it going for you. So I am trying to get back into that mindset.

We are in the process of trying to decide on an agency to use. We are having difficulty finding one that will accept our homestudy. One of them will but charge a $750.00 executive fee. If we do another homestudy then it will be a few thosand again.

-Kristin