Learning Hopefully

Hey!
Well those of you who keep up with the blog know that there has really been no progress basically since Jan. I have also recently shared that I am struggling with loss of hope and placing my full trust in God.

Our sermon on Sun was from Mark 5:21-43. The passage was about Jesus's power over sickness and death. It was a great message (you can listen to it on our church's website www.salemchapel.org) and it sparked some deep thoughts in me. Seeing the total faith, trust, and absolute belief in Jesus's power that the people in this passage displayed made me take a deeper look at myself. I realize that way back in the beginning of the adoption (back before we had even thought of actually starting paperwork) we set very strict guidelines on what type of adoption we would pursue. I think that you definitly should have a plan however, I have to admit that I came to the decision without doing much/any research into all the avenues of adoption. I realize that this was not only my way of trying to control things but also trying to protect us from more hurt, sadness, and grief. After hearing this message it made me realize that we truly need to turn things over to God and he will lead us. If it is not in the way that I want it I need to know that ultimately it is what is best. I also need to keep in mind and heart that knowledge that we can get through anything because God is there with us for every step of the way.

Obviously this is an easier said than done realization. Especially for a control freak such as myself. So please pray for the trust, strength and courage for me/us to fully step out in faith and keep ourselves open to all the possibilites of God.

-Kristin